The women who hid their shopping addiction from their husbands... and nearly wrecked their marriages.

Eleanor Smith was putting her baby son down for a nap when the telephone rang. As she heard her husband, Richard, answer the phone, and his voice become increasingly irate, every muscle in her body tensed. She realised that the person on the other end of the line was revealing her dirty secret.
For the past three years, Elenor, now 33, had been spending money the couple did not have on clothes, shoes and cosmetics she did not need, and which were now mostly hidden, unused, in wardrobes and drawers.
The caller — who warned that bailiffs were to be sent to their home in Nuneaton, Warwickshire — was just one of eight creditors to whom she owed a total of £20,000, accrued on an array of credit and store cards.
Although Elenor’s secret shopping addiction sounds extreme, according to new research, it’s far from unique. In a recent survey, six out of ten women admitted they do not live within their means, while four in ten women regularly lie to their partners to cover up their spending.
‘I was so anxious about making sure Richard didn’t find out what a mess we were in that the only thing that made me feel better was buying more things,’ recalls Elenor. ‘Stuff that a young mum has no use for — evening dresses, designer stilettos, glitzy jewellery.

‘Hiding things from the people in your life is the first sign of an addiction,’ explains Nadine. ‘So if you are asking yourself “How can I do this without getting caught?”, the next question you need to ask is “Why am I doing this? What void in my life am I trying to fill?”
‘Spending on something you don’t need, and can’t afford, will make you feel good for 24 hours. But once the fix wears off the gap will still be there, so it’s important to identify more constructive ways of filling it.’
A lack of self-esteem or confidence is often at the root of shopping addiction, according to Ms Field:
‘Buying nice things triggers the same feel-good chemicals in the brain as cocaine or gambling,’ she says. ‘But the feeling does not last and can leave you feeling as wretched the following day as a cocaine binge or throwing away money on the horses.’
And the consequences — including bankruptcy, house repossession and even divorce — can be just as devastating.
Simone Wilson’s addiction to shopping has cost her dear: six months ago, her two-year relationship with the man she loved ended after she withdrew £4,000 from their joint bank account and blew it on a Hermes bag.
Her boyfriend, Paul, a music producer earning around £40,000 a year, had been saving to buy a car and for a deposit on a flat — unaware that she had long been chipping away at their nest-egg to feed her £2,000-a-month shopping habit.
‘Paul was very generous and turned a bit of a blind eye to my spending on clothes, make-up and face creams,’ says Simone, 29. ‘But when he checked the account a week after I’d withdrawn £4,000 and found it empty, it was a tipping point.

The fact Joanne never got into debt to feed her habit made the deceit slightly easier for Jon to stomach. However, he made it clear he wouldn’t bail her out if she carried on spending beyond her means.
‘Joanne tells me that she’s much more sensible about her spending now, but we’ve recently had a bedroom converted into a walk-in wardrobe and it’s filling up fast,’ says Jon.
‘We all have our vices, though — mine’s drag race cars, which eat up a lot of my income, and shopping is my wife’s.’
With three more years to go before the Smiths clear their £30,000 debt, it’s not so easy for them to be flippant about Elenor’s addiction.
‘I felt guilty at Christmas when all of my son’s friends got a brand new Nintendo 3DS and he had to make do with a second-hand games console,’ says Elenor.
‘You want the best for your children and it’s sickening knowing that every time we have to tell ours they can’t have something, it’s because we’re all still paying for my secret shopping addiction.’
Additional reporting: Antonia Hoyle